First a little background.. My Mom had a kidney transplant in 2002. She started rejecting the kidney in 2009. All the anti-rejection meds made her very sick and it was around this time that I gained a lot of weight back. She has been on dialysis for a over a year now. She never got to the point she needed it pre-transplant in 2002.
The first go round (2002 transplant) she was put on the list and received a kidney in 2 days. I kid you not!
There are 5 of us kids, all of whom have offered to try to donate to her, but she won't agree to that. So she is back on the transplant list, but since this is a 2nd transplant, it is harder to get a kidney that matches up with her antibodies and the antibodies in her system from the previous transplant.
Mom is now on 2 different transplant lists. You have to agree to be put on the 2nd one, as it is riskier. The kidneys may be from an older person and may not last as long as one that comes from the primary list. If you get a call from the transplant team on the primary list, you aren't allowed to ask any questions really.. you either take the kidney or they give it to someone else. With the secondary list, they will tell you a lot more about the person and you can weigh out the pros and cons. However once you get a call about the kidney you only have so many hours to get the kidney into your body. So you have to decide fast. If you choose not to take it they have to match someone else up just as quickly.
Mom said from day 1 she would take the first kidney they offered her regardless to which list it came from because dialysis is very, very, very hard on her.
A few months back.. I'm not sure of the exact date.. maybe 6 months.. she received a call saying they had a possible kidney for her. She told them immediately, yes, she would take it. We all made the 3 hour drive and waited. The testing of the antibodies and kidney function takes a long time. We were there a good 14 hours. They had Mom prepped for surgery when they come in and tell us the kidney matched up on every single thing but failed when they tested to see if they could get it pumping. Oh my goodness. You want to talk about heartbreak. We were devastated as was Mom.
Well, Mom's been really sick as I've mentioned on my other posts. She has no kidney function at all, is on dialysis, and it is really causing her a lot of problems. The most recent being possible congestive heart failure. She had fluid around her heart and lungs which is gone now. She just needed extra dialysis, thankfully, and is on the mend but not out of the hospital.
The transplant team calls her today and tells her they have another possible kidney. She tells them she will take it. Her kidney doctor and cardiologist both clear her for surgery, and they have her ready to go. They were going to fly her to the transplant center. We had our hopes built up again, only for them to call back and say the transplant team decided the kidney wasn't transplantable and even if it had been, they wouldn't have operated on her until she has another cardio work up in 2 weeks to make 100% sure she is fine.
I am thankful she didn't get down there and then it work out this way, like last time. I am also thankful they were concerned enough to want to wait. However I can't help but be disappointed. When you watch your Mom get sicker and sicker.. when she can barely sit up... it is hard to have normal emotions. I have cried all evening. She needed that kidney so bad. She did wonderful with the last one.. dialysis is so hard on her.. I could have my Mom back.. if she could only have a match.
Don't get me wrong. I would never wish for someone to pass away so that my Mom can have a kidney, but I pray that if someone has chose to be a donor and it is their time to go anyway, that they will be a match for my Mom. I've read the quote "Faith in God is Faith in HIS Timing". This is so true, but hard to swallow too.
I kept my calories within the limits, but I was so tempted not to. I had one slice of Pizza, but it was within my calorie range. I really could have ate at least 4 pieces I was so crazed with emotion. But I didn't and I am proud of that. Yeah, I caved and had a piece, but only one piece, and that is a victory for me.
I even walked a mile on the treadmill! That just blew me away. I actually got on there, when what I really wanted to do was get in bed and cry.
Tomorrow is a new day, filled with new hope. It will be a better day. I have faith!
This photo is of Mom and I on Mother's Day 2009. She was rejecting her kidney and they had her on TONS of anti-rejection meds. Look how swollen she was from them. I had maybe put back on 20 lbs at this point during her illness. I guess I was in the high 240s.
This is Mom, Dad, Myself (on the right) and my brothers/sisters in October 2010. I had gained back EVERY pound at this point. But it got worse for me. Look at Mom though, she looked great! She was on dialysis, but it wasn't making her as sick at that point.This was taken a couple weeks ago after dialysis. She was so weak. You can see the tape on the fistula in her arm.